Discoveries
There's many things that I've discovered in life. No, those are not discoveries as in that I was the first to see it. It's the awareness that has come to me personally through experience. I guess we've all had our own discoveries. And one discovery is......
Men Are Dogs
Dogdom: n. the temporary (hopefully) stage in a man's life when he is a user of the opposite gender with no respect towards them and possibly none towards himself. (FogWalker Dictionary)
I'm sorry to say that men are dogs, especially since I am one. Man, that is. I have been the dog in the past. I've read several blogs where a male (or more than one) have hurt someone. I know, women can do the same thing. But I don't think women have it down to a science like the men do. I think that all men will experience dogdom some time in their life. The man might have already been the "dog", or may be the "dog" right now, or will be a "dog" some day. Some will grow out of dogdom; some may not.
And it seems that every man will someday pass through dogdom. He may only be in it for days, or may be in it for years. While most grow out of it, some may stay in it for the duration of their life.
My definition may be enough. But to add to it, dogdom is often manifested by disrespectful remarks, lude gestures or stares, inappropriate touches, rotten comments, etc. Regardless of whether you're a man or a woman, you've probably experienced the manifestations of dogdom through interaction with one in dogdom, or by doing it yourself. Dogdom is not always manifested in seemingly bad ways. Sometimes, the "dog" is the nicest of the nice, the smoothest of the smooth. In the end, it's worse because of the pretentiousness that has been exercised. You see, the "dog" may slide into a relationship with flowers, and exit with bites!
The range of dogdom can extend from a very nice and polite dog, that leaves when they don't get fed, to the vicious dog, that bites and physically hurts those that care about them. In both cases, there are mental hurts.
Denial
Yeah, many will deny the dogdom. It's similar to the alcoholic denying that problem. The "dog" just doesn't want to admit the problem. Hopefully, someday the problem will be over, but even at that, the "dog" may not confess to that embarrassing time in their lives. Oh, and it may not be embarrassing to some, especially to those present "dogs".
Then there's denial from the loved one (?), or the family. He's not that bad, and he really doesn't mean it. He's just a greedy, little "dog". Whatever. The denial from the one being hurt does not help the situation. If there's a problem, there's a problem. I'm not saying to go shoot the dog (I think that's been done, one was burned in a bed), but the problem should be stated for all to know. This is not easy, not easy at all!
Confession
I remember a time in the past when I wanted what I wanted without any concern about who it affected. I got what I wanted by using whomever it took at the time. There was no respect, nor concern, for anyone. It was dogdom. I wanted what I wanted, and I got what I wanted any way that I could.
I also remember the transition from dogdom. It's easy to slide into dogdom, but it's painful growing out of it. The new found respect for the opposite gender makes the growing necessary, but old habits are sometimes hard to break. And dogdom is a habit; to some, a way of life. But that old life, or old lifestyle, can and must end.
Both Sides
I've talked with a lot of people about dogdom; to women that have a "dog", and to men that are the "dog". It is not a pretty thing when a relationship has a "dog" involved. Having a "dog" does not mean the relationship will end. Sometimes the "dog" grows up into a man. Sometimes the "dog" must leave, or is kicked out. Whatever. In most of these discussions, it seems inevitable that the woman is always hurt more by the "dog". There are cases when the "dog" grows up, and there's a lot of pain there because of the realization of the pain they caused.
You see, happiness is not getting everything that you want. I discovered true happiness when I found out that manipulating was not the answer. True happiness is when both parties in a relationship are happy, NOT when only one is happy. But "dogs" don't care about relationships and happiness. They are users extraordinaire. But someday, maybe someday, that "dog" will grow up. There's no promises either way, dog gone it!
A lot of you have experienced dogdom, or may be experiencing it now. It leaves pain; it leaves scars. Time may heal. I really dislike the stories that I've heard from people (male and female, but especially female) that have experienced dogdom. I don't know if there is a way to never experience it. I only know that it can end, one way or another. I've felt the pain that friends have had because of dogdom, and I've remembered the pain I caused when I was the "dog". I'm really ashamed how males have such a tendency to be "dogs".
There is hope. Please don't let a "dog" destroy your life. If you are a "dog", someday you'll realize the truth to this blog. Someday you'll grow up (or maybe not). For a relationship to stand between two people, one can not be a "dog"!
There's more that can be said, volumes of information that could be given, but I only hope that this helps someone realize what dogdom is.
The FogWalker remembers those that he has talked to.....those he has read about....and wishes for them the dogdom-free life.....
Just in case my son(s) read this, I'm still not admitting that you are my sons since there has been no proof yet! Hahaha!
Recent Comments