My son has had one brain operation to deaden the pathways the broadcast the point of the seizure to the rest of the brain.  If was a successful operation and that point was no longer "firing" seizures.  However, there was another smaller point doing the same thing; kinda' insignificant compared to the other one.  But as the brain can do, it managed to let the other point take over and start firing seizures again.

After more tests at Ruby Memorial Hospital (WVU), it was determined that he's again a prime candidate for having this surgery a second time for the different point.  Not many have this done.  He's had the pre-admission testing and we're waiting on a phone call today on what time his surgery is tomorrow.  So, another brain surgery will happen tomorrow and maybe, just maybe, then end of all seizures!  We're hoping and praying that this will be the last surgery and the last of any seizures.

For right now, the wait for that phone call is killing me.

The Fog

The other evening was one of the first evenings that I've really sat down with anyone and tried to explain the Fog, my Fog.  It was only family, but I think they have a better glimpse of what has happened in my mind with the Fog.  My youngest son, whose wife left him right before he went on a 6 month tour (in the military when they got married), is going through a similar Fog and we got to really share and understand more about it.

I think the similarities of the Fog is so, hmm, similar, that it's eerie.  Though we can't understand the Fog through the same media (mine through a car accident and his through a divorce), he's in that Fog where it's hard to see.  We found each other the other night, and we all just had a time together to share, and to start understanding how another's Fog is.

Then my oldest son admitted his Fog about the surgery tomorrow.  We all have been "enlighten" more about each other and can empathize more.  We're not alone, though the Fog makes it seem that way.

So crying out in the Fog can help, and sometimes you find another with whom you can share.  And then you realize that there is still survival, though you may not want to survive.  We just need to reach out for others, and others are hard to find when the Fog is dense.

And my Hunni is still there, not only for me, but also for my sons.  She seems to be the light that we're attracted to for help.

My Hunni

Another story to tell is about her strength.  I'll tell that story sometime.  She has overcome breast surgery, but there has been many trials and hardships.  And there's also been complications.  But she's strong.....as I think that most women are (that's why God had them have babies and not men! - little levity).

The FogWalker packs for leaving.....

As long as some people have been around me, they still don't know that I have migraines everyday.  You may know because you have read it, and I whine on here alot, but the really observant ones around me don't know.  My Hunni says that I'm good at hiding it until it reaches a certain level.  Then again, it may be that I'm not a socialite and I'm not out that much around people.

I kinda' like not being around people, but sometimes I like to be around them.  Then again, the more I'm around them, the more I like my cats.  You know, Smokey knows when I really have a bad migraine.

I rate my migraines from zero (no migraine at all) to ten (when I go to the hospital to get a Stadol Cocktail).  I guess I do fairly well at hiding 'em up to about #7, then I kinda' fall apart.

Shutdown

I don't know what it is, other than my body telling me, or rather forcing me, to shutdown.  I'll have a bad migraine, usually #7 or above, and it's getting worse.  Then I feel like my head is going to explode, which would be nice because the pressure would be gone.  Then I feel my joints start hurting and I get sick of my stomach.  It's like a pain shoots down from my left temple (which is the normal side for my migraines), goes down my neck to my left shoulder and elbow, then my hip will originate pain that goes to my knee and then ankle.  I try to fight it, but it wins, and then there's oblivion; there's the shutdown.  I guess my system is protecting itself so I don't implode on myself, or explode on someone else.  I wake up really sore!  Systems override, going to standby mode.  Pressures increasing in core, unit shutting down in 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1....Shutdown complete....

My overloads and shutdowns don't seem to happen that often, but I've had 3 in 3 days.  Now I'm in the fog and don't know what to do.

Seizures

My actions may be seizure like, but the docs can't prove it one way or the other....and I've been through countless tests.  I guess that the Alopathic Practitioners still are practicing.  Oh well, the body still knows more than them and does what it has to do, or maybe what it wants to do.

On the other hand, my oldest son does have seizures.  My two sons and I officiate volleyball on every Monday evening.  During the last game on this Monday, Matt came over and said that he was having "seeing" problems, which is his aura when he goes to have a seizure.  I sat him down on the gym floor, leaned against the floor, and we talked and held hands until he seized so he doesn't feel alone.  Then several guys helped me get him to my other son's car and they drove him home.  He has a bad seizure about once a month.

It seems that most of the people were smart there.  They backed up to give us room, a couple of them helped as needed, then several guys helped me get him to the car.  Some backed up because they are not used to seeing a seizure and it's not pretty, and some even cried and went home.  However, we finished the last match of the evening and that night was done.

Then the FogWalker overloaded.  Geemyknee.

Life Goes On

Though I sometimes don't want to spend more time hurting (I'm wimpy, you know), life still goes on.  In the fog, the end can come, but I still reach out for someone.  The hand that always seems to catch mine is my Hunni's hand.  That means more to me than anything.  And because of that hand, I survive.

The FogWalker ponders the trials that his Hunni has been through in the last couple of years, and especially the last couple of months....then realizes that his own can be insignificant....

Edit: The FogWalker wasn't thinking good...

So many things have happened in my life that I've kinda' slipped back into the fog.  I can't seem to find my way out, and I can't find anyone else.  But, I survive.  I don't know where to begin, but it's suggested that I start writing again for my therapy, for a means to find a way back into the light that I might be able to tolerate.  Maybe I will...I think I will...I know I need to...

But not just yet.

The FogWalker is seeking more oblivion...

I've got a very simple portal page to several places that are commonly visited.  Of course, if you use the page to visit places like eBay and Amazon, then I'll get paid.  Cool?  Sometimes one has to do whatever to get by.  If you'd like to visit it, please click here.

Speaking of DMo...

DMo just may be my brand someday.  I partnered with another firm to give away free subscriptions and white papers.  Guess what the domain name is!  Yes, it contains the DMo.  Check out DMo.TradePub.com to see if you want a free subscription on just about anything!

And if you happen to be visiting a forum and run across a DMo, especially if it's DMo224, well guess who you've found.

The FogWalker is thinking that FogWalker should be branded...but that's beyond today since the migraine is winning...and Tai Chi Chuan class is being missed...and it's snowing... blah, blah....

Actually, I got my stitches out today.  It was nice that the shoulder surgery was an arthroscopy.  The rehab will be alot easier.  Not only that, but I've already been through so much physical therapy that I know what I should do, I have the equipment to do it, and I've been released to do the therapy at home.  Woot!  I'm especially glad about that because the insurance doesn't pay much on it.  I really want the usage of my arm back, so I'll work at it.  I have an appointment in about a month to see how I'm progressing.  I'm hoping to surprise them with the advancement.

A GLObal COmpany

That's a neat little thing that comes in its own nifty little pouch with adjustable carrying strap....sounds like a commercial, huh!  This device is a small high-tech balloon that holds local anesthetic and delivers it through a tiny capillary tube placed directly into the surgical incision.  The anesthesia is continuously delivered for up to 5 days to help with the healing process by reducing pain (helps with not having to take narcotics).  Read more about the one used on me here.  Unfortunately, I think that mine was leaking more outside with a little blood mixed in than it was staying inside the wound.  Instead of taking it out Sunday morning, my Hunni removed it Saturday afternoon since my bandage and shirt were both soaked with it and blood.  After cleaning me up, there's no problem with the incisions or anything, but it sure feels good to clean up!

I go this coming Friday to get the stitches out and see what I'll need to do about therapy.  In all actuallity, I know more about therapy than the average bear and will probably be able to do it at home, at least I'm hoping so (maybe take a week or so and then do it at home).  I'm also thoroughly convinced that the Tai Chi Chuan will help with this healing process.  Yes, I'm convinced and trying to tell others about this system!  You may have read my feelings about it already.

Snow, Rain, and Hail

There was a cover of snow this morning.  Around 8:30am, it began this rain/hail and froze over on the roads.  It was really slick and a good time to stay home.  We don't have the worst weather around here, but this was a good time not to go outside and take a chance of falling after this surgery.

And for now...

Not the year of the lion like the Chinese Zodiac since this is the year of the pig, this is my Lion Year in the way that it has come in.  Not onley come in, but the way it has continued so far.  Things have to gt better, don't they?

Extended Warranties

Are all of these just empty promises that in reality cover nothing?  I was told how great mine was on my camcorder when I bought it at Circuit City.  It developed some kind of funky linke going down the view finder.  They girl that took it said that it was covered and there would be no charge.  One week later, a technician calls and says it will cost $425 for them to fix since it was due to breakage.  So what did I want them to do?  I wanted them to fix it at no charge, or give it back.  Well, since I broke it, I get it backa  as it was, and as it is.  "BTW, my warranty runs out in April, would I like to renew  that now?"  Duh, let me jump right on that.

I did not break that screen , but that's what they all say.  I know that I just got stereotypically placed in the liar category and I don't like it.  I did not break it!  I can still use it, but I'll have to take my pics using the eyepiece and not the nice little screen.  Geemyknee!

I survived

I had shoulder surgery yestereday morning.  It was more extensive than thought, but I'm still alive.  A bone spur about the size of a US quarter was removed.  It had torn into the rotator cuff, and the cuff was repaired.  It was also cutting into my collar bone, so they smooth out the bone (then rough it ot to stimulate growth.  And last, but not least I had a muscle tear that they repaired.  As far as I know, they I didn't gain weight due to additional metal partsl.  I don't even know how the incisions look, but we do get to take the intitial stuff off tomorow and I can eall get cleaned up.. Yeah!

Last Saturday, I woke up and remembered that I hadn't taken the meds for my restless leg syndrome.  I had fallen asleep in my recliner.  So, I got right up and took the meds, which make you sleep, then went to bed.  I noticed the time when I went to bed and realized that I had made a mistake by taking that around 2am.  Then it's Sunday morning and time to get ready for church.  I sat down in the recliner and went back to sleep.  My Hunni got me back up for breakfast and then I went back to sleep.  She took our son to work, and guess what....yeah, I was back to sleep.

Right before my Hunni left to go to church, my son called because he was having his aura and was about to seize.  We went to his work to pick him up.  He had a bad seizure and bit his tongue.  It took alot of effort and time to get him up so we could bring him home.  Once home, it was rough getting him up again, taking his Imitrex and getting him in bed.  He takes the Imitrex because the seizures give him a migraine (I hate sharing those with him, wish he didn't have them or the seizures).

So we stayed in pretty much the rest of the day to watch over him.

Then I've missed a couple of days, slept in too (time traveling again?), but I still survive.  We've had vast weather changes and the rollercoaster barometer kills me....or at least tries to kill me.  Obviously, it hasn't succeeded yet....unless someone besides me is writing this, but I think I'm me, for the moment anyway.  I didn't understand any of that, maybe you did.

Tai Chi Chuan

I've been taking Tai Chi Chuan for almost a year now.  IMO, it's a very good exercise for everyone, not just the stereotypical view of old people taking it like a vast majority around here seem to think.  It's not only a good exercise for the body, but it is a great exercise for the brain/mind.  I do credit it, and a very good and knowledgeable sifu (teacher/father) for a vast improvement in my physical health, even mental health.  I even think that the slow, mediative state that I'm almost in (I'm still a beginner) while practicing helps to lessen the pain of a migraine (as long as it's not toooooo severe).  But who knows?  It may very well help that in the long run.  Biofeedback had helped to a degree, but this is more like controlling yourself with motion while you remain still.  Yoga seems to be very closely related; some say that it is postures like Tai Chi, but without the Martial Art applications.  I may soon start going to a Yoga class at the local YMCA to compliment each other.

I wish I could get more people involved with the Tai Chi Chuan class.  I'm thoroughly convinced that it is very helpful to one's overall health and fitness.  Alas, most people do not have my sentiments about it.  There's just so much to it, and people are missing out.  Okay, that's my opinion....obviously if others thought the same, there would be more students!

Of course, there's volumns that could be said about Tai Chi Chuan that I can't even begin to fathom.  And there's been much written on it.  I highly recommend seeking out an instructor and diving in!  Though DVDs may be good, even great, they can't beat a good teacher that will personally help you in your endeavor.

Can you tell I'm impressed?

The FogWalker returns to sitting by the wood-burning stove....the heat feels good on a "migrained" head...