Time to rush off to WVU Hospital.  No, not an emergency, just a doctor's follow-up appointment.  However, it is a little over a 3 hour drive.  My son has a check up from the surgery that he had awhile back.  My Dad's going to go with us, just so he can get out of the house and do some running around.

The FogWalker prepares for the trip...including taking some Imitrex for a migraine....

Storms & Storms

The FogWalker goes to feed the animals...and hopes Cat starts posting again...

I've successfully gone 7 months without blogging.  Well, almost 7 months, minus a few days you know.  Why?  It just seems like too many problems (health, mental, and spiritual) to deal with here.   I'm told be a doctor that I should write, and I thought that it was good at one time.  Then I just faded off and didn't know anymore.  It seems like the writing is only whining.  And I strongly believe that if one has not gone through the same or very similar experience, then that one doesn't understand the problem(s).  You may think you understand.... I still read those that I have subbed to, if that counts for anything.  I've noticed that some that I regularly read have quieted down, too.

No, I'm not trying to be politically correct, or any of the other nonsense that is going on.  I'm just different!  Some of you may know that by now.  This is meant to say that I wish you well in whatever holiday you observe and however you observe it.  And if no holiday, have a nice day!

The FogWalker goes back to horizontal stasis seeking oblivion.

To those that celebrate it:

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

The FogWalker is alive.....and well?

Crash

Now that was a different movie.  It shows a lot of prejudices.  I recommend seeing it to stir up some of your thinking.  You may like it, or may hate it, but it will definitely make you think.  It really illustrated a type of person that I really don't like and that's a person that is prejudice because of some superficial aspect of a person, like their skin color.

Barometric Changes

We had some more of those changes through the night and today.  Yeah, they beat me up so that I haven't even been outside.

The FogWalker hides......again......

Matt

Matt had another seizure this past week.  I brought him home from work.  He took Imitrex for the headache and laid down on the couch to sleep.  I went to sleep in the recliner since I had a migraine.  This seizure was mild, compared to the ol' days before his brain surgery.  He wasn't "gone" for very long and the other actions were less.  Even his migraine afterwards was less.

I asked him if all the tests and the surgery were worth it.  We had hoped for zero seizures after the surgery.  Matt told me that it was well worth what he has been through even to lessen the seizures and after affects.  Even with the lessening, life is hard.

DHHR

For awhile (about 6 moths), the DHHR gave Matt a medical card.  He had to go back every 3 months to get it reinstated.  But this last time, they denied him the card.  Why?  **settles down to give answer**  According to them, Matt must have over $2000/month in medical bills, not including prescriptions (he makes about 1/3 of that required bill).  Okay, so he makes $100/month more than his prescriptions, but the medical bills equal to $100/month.  He didn't make it on the medical bill part, but he's actually working a low paying job just so he can pay for prescriptions and the doctor bills.  And when the truth is told, his doctor bills will last the rest of his life (if he lives to 150+ he'll have them paid off). 

Isn't that pretty stupid?  Matt must have 3x his salary in medical bills before the state will give him aid.  Come on!  What genius figured this out?  This is really ticking me off!  They would probably give him a medical card and more money if he got fired from his job because of his seizures, and that may happen someday.  He's doing his best to be a contributing part of society and this is how he's treated.

This is just another example that the people making the rules are too far removed from the problems.

Ladder 49

I watched this movie with the family last night.  Though I don't think it was a great movie, it did have some insight on the characters of firefighters.  The worse part about this movie is the memories that it stirred.  For 20+ years, I was Captain of a Fire and Rescue Squad, and now I can't be.  I remember fires and rescues, all part of my past life, past because of an accident.  The things that were changed for me in a blink of the eye, and I still miss some of those things.  Maybe I only sadden myself with this thinking, but it's really hard not to remember and only wish to have things back as they were.  But that won't happen.  I don't deceive myself.  And I still survive.

Blingo

I saw the Blingo Search at another Xangan's site and decided to join.  If you do an occasional search, and if you would like a chance to win prizes, then do a Blingo search.  There's a catch, if you click the button below, and if you join Blingo, when you win a prize, I win the same prize if you joined from my button.  So, if you really don't like me, don't join under me, but go join it for the fun of it anyway!  Or click here.   Everything is explained at the site.

Thesaurus-ize

"Perspicacity is the moniker that the generality of the populace bestows upon their aberations."

Un-thesaurus-ize

22 September 2005:  "I am never afraid of what I know."  Anna Sewell 

The FogWalker remembers....but tries not to at the time....

Landscaping

For over 20 years, the cover for our water meter has been about a foot lower than the rest of the yard.  Since we had some Norway Spruce near there, it wasn't seen and it didn't need to be mowed over.  We got rid of the trees awhile back, so that hole is noticable, but the worse is mowing around it.  The water company won't fix it since it was our responsibility when the house was built to have it "at grade".  Geemyknee!

So, I fixed it.  The huge pile of dirt that we have had in the back yard for 2 years is getting smaller.  I borrowed my SIL's small tiller, cut off some of the dirt, tilled it, and had the sons moving dirt to the front yard.  I should have taken before and after pics, but I only just thought about it.  After moving the dirt, we smoothed the dirt and then packed it down (with a 4 wheeler), but left the top couple of inches loose for planting grass.  My hunni smoothed it all up, and we planted grass with a topping of straw for protection.

With the rain in the last few days, we have a nice carpet of new grass sticking up through the straw.  Pretty soon, we'll be able to complain about mowing it.  Oh the joy!  But, it looks good, and the yard is more level with the meter cover being about a half inch higher than the ground.  Cost: $38.52  Price: Lots of work by a few  Value: Beautiful!

Family Reunion

My mom had 15 in her immediate family.  It was the typical farm family that was large.  Mom was in the middle of the brothers and sisters, and was born in 1920.  Around 1960, the siblings started having family reunions.  It was a big event with all those siblings and their families.  The list of people would be grandma and grandpa, then 15 families of at least 2, some had kids had that time, cousins of the siblings, a friend or two, and maybe even a neighbor.  The reunions were usually held at the Roane County 4H Campgrounds, and it was full.  Of the first reunions that I remember, there were a 100+ people attending.  There was food everywhere and sports galore.  There was always the infamous horseshoe game going on with some of the older folk.  I was always in the softball game, and later on in the volleyball games.  There were jarts, frisbee throwing, all kinds of stuff.

Over the years since that time, the reunion got a little smaller.  Grandma and Grandpa passed on while in their 90s, and now most of the brother and sisters are gone.  The majority of the recent reunions have been my generation, which now ranges from the mid thirties to the sixties.  Wow!  Time flies.  Of the original family, there are now only 2 of them living; 2 sisters that are 65 and 80.

We didn't have a family reunion this year; I'm not exactly sure why.  It's really a shame that we didn't.  For as long as I can remember, the reunion was either held near or at one of my uncle's house.  He passed away this past Saturday at 79 years old.  This year's reunion, on a sad note, has been at his wake and funeral.  I know that hindsight is great, but I still wish we had had a reunion at his house again this year; it would have been before his passing.

Subscriptions

I didn't really realize what subscriptions meant to alot of people here.  Personally, I only sub to those that I find myself returning to read, and then if I don't read anymore, or they don't write anymore.....well, I unsub.  That doesn't mean that I hate someone, or nothing of that sort.  I get a daily email with all the new posts of the ones that I sub to.  I read that daily.  There have been a couple that I don't really want to read, so I unsub.  I thought that was everyone did, but it may not be. 

For example, there was a couple that I initially subbed to because they had some good thoughts.  Then they started speaking 4337, or some other variation of English, wItH tYPinG ThAt iS jUSt pLAiN STUPID, and I choose not to even look at those again.  I'm English speaking and prefer to read some similance of English. 

A couple of people that I subbed to quit blogging, so I later unsubbed.  A couple moved and lost me in the move (I found one or two and resubbed).  Of course, there was one that so blatantly attacked people that didn't agree with him that I decided not to read anymore.  Hey, I know we all have different opinions, beliefs, and value systems, but I don't need to read how moronic I am from someone that doesn't even know me.  You at least have to know me to call me a moron!  Hahaha!

I think I'm one of those few people that don't even know who has subbed to me.  I'm not a reciprocal subber.  I don't sub to someone just because they have subbed to me; so I usually don't look to see who is on the list.  It actually surprises me that anyone would sub here!  The reciprocal subber is like the "I-propped-you,-you-prop-me-back" poster.  Cut me a break!

3 Days in the Grave

I arose this morning to a hangover of sorts.  The last 3 days have been super migraine days.  They have pasted in the fog with pain being all that I remember (other than being at the funeral). Yesterday was the worse day for a long time.  I tried to melt the side of my face with the heating pad, you know, one of my bestest friends.  If I wasn't a coward, at least I call it coward, I wouldn't be here to blog today.  The pain is so immense that I'm overwhelmed.  I layed down yesterday morning to die, wanting and hoping to die, but it didn't come.  If enduring is strong, I don't really want to be strong.  I only want oblivion; a place where there is no pain.  But that is not life, and I do live.  Sometimes, I am unsure of my purpose.  But never, due to my past, do I ever think I deserve less.  Pain is a frustration with all that is lost, especially the unproductive time that was spent accomplishing nothing.  I despise the lost time, and I despise my weakness.  But, I live.

My hunni told me that Smokey, my shadow cat, only left my side to eat and potty.  Other than that, he watched over me and laid beside me the whole time.  I woke a couple of times to his crying, but I don't know why he did it.  I would open my eyes to see him looking me in the eyes, then he'd lay down and I would succumb back to the pain and then to drug induced oblivion.

But, I live.  And today has been a better day.

Stupid Quote

"I never say anything that I can't change or take back."  The FogWalker

Thesaurus-ize

 "I have no instance of trepidation of my components of cognizance." 

Un-thesaurus-ize

12 September 2005: "Getting caught is the mother of invention."  Robert Byrne

The FogWalker returns to the living........bills to be paid and sent out....

911

I watched several different programs about the terrorist happenings on 11 September 2001.  Most of the programs were very informative about the happenings of that day, and about the building (and falling) of the World Trade Center.  However, it was still sad to see the number of deaths that happened that day.  And from the firefighter side of me (retired fire squad Captain), it was sad that the already proven defective radio equipment used by the firefighters was still being used.  The big thing to me is that that cowardly act of terrorism is still sickening to me, as is every occurence of terrorism across the world and there are countries that have more than most Americans have ever thought about.  I would have no problem of eliminating every proven or professed terrorist, or of anything that carried their genes and stupidity, but that's just me.

Friend Day

On a better note, our church had Friend Day yesterday.  This was a time to bring your friends that don't regularly attend church to the services.  In past blogs, I've written that my beliefs are a little different than most, so one may smirk about this service when they really don't know anything about it since I won't burn you at the stake if you don't agree.  And that's okay with me.  We have the freedom to say what we want, no matter how ridiculous our opinions.  Maybe someday I'll open the line of thought up for others to read....maybe....

Busy

This past week has been very busy.  From underpinning a manufactured house (new term for mobile home), to landscaping, to a virus and trojan (me the virus, my computer the trojan), to setting up a volleyball schedule with tournaments, to everything.  It's just been busy.  I guess that's good, but it would be nicer if I had gotten more sleep.  Going to sleep at 4am and getting up by 8am does not make for a good time.  I'm tired.  Extremely tired!

Two Mules For Sister Sara

Someone stated yesterday that the ol' Clint Eastwood movies were stupid.  Another ridiculous opinion.  LoL!  I like 'em, the person that said that and the movies!  Anyway, this is NOT about that, but it is about a mule, a Kawasaki Mule.  I've wanted one for quite awhile now.  It's a four wheeler of sorts, with a couple of main exceptions like the steering wheel and the benchseat.  I can use it for hunting, or putting around to my son's house, or whatever.  I just couldn't afford to buy one, so no mule for Brother FogWalker.

This past week, my brother asked me if I would still like to have one.  Of course I would, but I could find any place that would let me make low payments.  He asked me how low the payments would be and I told him a hundred, never realizing what was about to happen.  In his caring brotherly way, he bought a used one and is selling it to me for a low monthly payment.  I never expected that.  He's been my best friend for many years, and now he does something like this.  I had to go off by myself for awhile.  People just don't do stuff like that.  The more I'm around most people, the more I like my cats.  But the more I'm around my brother, well, he's just a great friend and brother.

The Mule that I'm getting is 4 or 5 years old.  It's in great shape, except it needs some tires.  It's a four wheel drive with a full cab (so it's like a mini-truck).  It even has a heater in the cab.  I'm excited to be getting it.  I'll be picking it up sometime this week.  If I had a tail, it would be wagging!  Last year I didn't get to go camping like I normally do in the fall because the road was so tore up that my van wouldn't go out it.  A four wheel drive "something" was needed. This year, I have the means to get out there and camp!  Woohoo!  **insert happy smile**

Stupid Quote

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."  Alan Minter, boxer

The FogWalker gets ready to go out.......yeah really....

Keep On Keepin' On!

That's my Dad's saying.  And he's doing exactly that.  It's been about 6 weeks since he fell and broke his hip.  That was on a Sunday and the following Tuesday, he had surgery to put 3 screws in the bone.  Several days in the hospital, then a couple of weeks in HealthSouth, and now he's home ambulating around.  He's been using a walker that last few weeks, but today he will graduate to a cane.  The last few days he has been walking without any aid and doing well.  He's 85 and doing better than me!

Molarnator

My tooth is still under my pillow.  Well, I moved it to the top of the chest of drawers.  No money received for it.  I was told that he/she was probably afraid to visit since I shot Santa in the rear many years ago.  I don't like univited visitors, and I certainly don't like people coming into my house via some other way than the front door.  Oh, the Easter bunny tasted good.

Anyway, my gum is healing up nicely.  Since my extraction, Matt had to have 2 teeth pulled.  Many years ago he had one of the front teeth knocked out in a little altercation, and the next tooth was pushed in.  The Oral Surgeon at that time did a root canal on both teeth, then a filling of sorts, when they placed both of them correctly.  Two weeks ago, the one that had been completed out broke.  There was no saving either of them, hence, the extraction.  They were pulled on Wednesday.  It was painful, but he had a day to heal, and now he's back to work.

Matt doesn't have the best insurance, and that's using the term insurance loosely.  He'll end up paying for just about everything.  He'll need to get a partial for those 2 teeth (and I'll end up getting one, too).  My "space" can't be seen since it's back in my mouth (the first of the large teeth), but Matt's space is right in front.  It bothers him, especially since some people make fun of WVians about being hillbillies.  He's anxious about getting the partial, but we need to find someone that is good with a very reasonable rate.

Storms

The storms continue to beat up people.  I'm beat up with intense migraines, but I still have my family and my home.  There are a lot of people that I know that are in the south and have lost lots.  They are in my thoughts and prayers.

Stupid Quote

"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."  Alicia Silverstone

Thesaurus-ize

"Domiciliary undertakings are lightened and instantaneous in the wake of completion by another entity." 

Un-thesaurus-ize

27 August 2005: "I'm tired!." The FogWalker

The FogWalker sits in the dark.......the glow from the monitor hurts.....soon to move to recliner...