September 2, 2007

• Getting Up

  Ever had a day that you just couldn't get up?  I mean literally!  Besides the migraine, I went to get up and couldn't move my left leg from my hip down to my foot without excruciating pain.  It wasn't like arthritis, nor a pulled muscle; it was just shear pain.  I've had to use a cane.

  I had a full body harness on the other day and I usually keep them pretty tight.  When they are tight, you don't have to worry so much about slipping on your body in case of a fall.  However, I've heard of people pinching a nerve if it wasn't situated right or if it were too tight.  That's the only thing that I can think I did that would make my leg hurt like that. 

  So, I have an extreme limp.  It is getting less now.

  But then...

  I was at Church this morning and felt one of THOSE pains in my head.  I had already limped in and sat through Sunday School class and the morning worship was starting.  Though I may write about it, I don't like people to see me "incapacitated".  Maybe it's pride; maybe it's because I know most people don't understand and can't empathize; maybe it's just me.  I looked at my Hunnie and gave her "our" sign for the problem and headed for the door.  I remember the pain and someone helping me....I thought it was my son (he wasn't even there)... and then I remember waking up sore at the house, along with a scuffed place on my forehead.

  We just call it a "spell" since we don't know what exactly it is.  Nor do the docs.  But I know when it's starting to happen and I quit whatever I'm doing.  Or I run and try to hide like this morning.

  I guess I'm embarrassed by my ineptitude and shortcomings, mentally or physically or even emotionally.  Geemyknee!

  It's just a severe pain that seems to originate where my migraines hurt and goes into my neck.  Then it's so severe that I can't seem to function.  And then there's all the other stuff that my Hunni tells me about later.  But again, I survive.  Afterwards, there's all the soreness and whatever bumps and bruises I might get after locking up and doing whatever I do.  I really hate it, but I hate it more that others see it.

  I love my Hunni, that loves me and takes care of me even through this kind of stuff.  She's been told to leave me by people that I thought were friends.  She stays, and I don't know what I would do without her.

  Now, I just plain hurt and am sore.  More meds and more oblivion, please.

  The FogWalker heads back to the recliner seeking oblivion...

  • 7:31 pm
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