July 4, 2007

• Migraines

  As long as some people have been around me, they still don't know that I have migraines everyday.  You may know because you have read it, and I whine on here alot, but the really observant ones around me don't know.  My Hunni says that I'm good at hiding it until it reaches a certain level.  Then again, it may be that I'm not a socialite and I'm not out that much around people.

  I kinda' like not being around people, but sometimes I like to be around them.  Then again, the more I'm around them, the more I like my cats.  You know, Smokey knows when I really have a bad migraine.

  I rate my migraines from zero (no migraine at all) to ten (when I go to the hospital to get a Stadol Cocktail).  I guess I do fairly well at hiding 'em up to about #7, then I kinda' fall apart.

  Shutdown

  I don't know what it is, other than my body telling me, or rather forcing me, to shutdown.  I'll have a bad migraine, usually #7 or above, and it's getting worse.  Then I feel like my head is going to explode, which would be nice because the pressure would be gone.  Then I feel my joints start hurting and I get sick of my stomach.  It's like a pain shoots down from my left temple (which is the normal side for my migraines), goes down my neck to my left shoulder and elbow, then my hip will originate pain that goes to my knee and then ankle.  I try to fight it, but it wins, and then there's oblivion; there's the shutdown.  I guess my system is protecting itself so I don't implode on myself, or explode on someone else.  I wake up really sore!  Systems override, going to standby mode.  Pressures increasing in core, unit shutting down in 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1....Shutdown complete....

  My overloads and shutdowns don't seem to happen that often, but I've had 3 in 3 days.  Now I'm in the fog and don't know what to do.

  Seizures

  My actions may be seizure like, but the docs can't prove it one way or the other....and I've been through countless tests.  I guess that the Alopathic Practitioners still are practicing.  Oh well, the body still knows more than them and does what it has to do, or maybe what it wants to do.

  On the other hand, my oldest son does have seizures.  My two sons and I officiate volleyball on every Monday evening.  During the last game on this Monday, Matt came over and said that he was having "seeing" problems, which is his aura when he goes to have a seizure.  I sat him down on the gym floor, leaned against the floor, and we talked and held hands until he seized so he doesn't feel alone.  Then several guys helped me get him to my other son's car and they drove him home.  He has a bad seizure about once a month.

  It seems that most of the people were smart there.  They backed up to give us room, a couple of them helped as needed, then several guys helped me get him to the car.  Some backed up because they are not used to seeing a seizure and it's not pretty, and some even cried and went home.  However, we finished the last match of the evening and that night was done.

  Then the FogWalker overloaded.  Geemyknee.

  Life Goes On

  Though I sometimes don't want to spend more time hurting (I'm wimpy, you know), life still goes on.  In the fog, the end can come, but I still reach out for someone.  The hand that always seems to catch mine is my Hunni's hand.  That means more to me than anything.  And because of that hand, I survive.

  The FogWalker ponders the trials that his Hunni has been through in the last couple of years, and especially the last couple of months....then realizes that his own can be insignificant....

  Edit: The FogWalker wasn't thinking good...

  Happy Independence Day!  If you celebrate that.  I've always wondered if the UK is now glad they got rid of us.  LoL!
  
  

  • 8:32 am
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